What is Consent ?

The definition of consent from the dictionary is "permission for something to happen or agreement to do something." The word ' consent' comes from the Latin word 'consentire' meaning to feel together. The definition of consent to me is a a collaborative shared experience with self or others created through ongoing communication verbally or non-verbally. Consent is attuning to your innate wisdom, sensations and feelings while negotiating with self or others around desires and limits. Additionally, it would be a voluntary (free of coercion), informed decision and everyone involved would have decision making abilities, knowledge, autonomy and understanding.

Consent is a concept that is often oversimplified, with many people associating it solely with permission. However, through my personal and professional experiences, I have come to understand that consent is far more intricate than a mere yes or no. It is not just about obtaining someone's agreement to engage in an activity; rather, it involves a process of mutual understanding and respect. When we view consent as a collaborative effort to create a shared experience rather than a one-sided transaction, we are better able to foster trust and communication in our relationships.

By shifting our perspective on consent from a permission-based model to one focused on collaboration and co-creation, we acknowledge the agency and autonomy of all parties involved. In this approach, consent becomes a continuous dialogue where individuals actively listen to each other's boundaries and desires. It is about honoring the principle that each person has the right to set their own limits and have them respected. This shift in mindset empowers individuals to engage in consent-driven interactions that are based on equality and mutual understanding.

Understanding that permission is just one component of consent allows us to navigate its complexities more effectively. Rather than viewing consent as a static, black-and-white concept, we can appreciate the nuances and intricacies that come with it. Consent is not a one-time transaction but an ongoing process that requires active participation and communication from all parties. By embracing a more comprehensive understanding of consent, we can cultivate healthier and more respectful relationships in all aspects of our lives..

When we discuss consent, another important layer is that it is impacted by how we are raised and our families, culture, societal norms, unconscious expectations we may have when we engage with others, our self-esteem, beliefs we may have adopted but not examined. Our dominant culture is based off systemic inequities.